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30 things I’d tell my postpartum self if I could go back.

1. When people say make the most of sleep while you can... listen to them!! You will NOT sleep when baby sleeps (that’s if baby even sleeps). 2. I hate to tell you this, but, if you’re lucky enough for baby to sleep through the night or he/she gets into some sort of sleep routine.. it won't last long so don't get used to it. 3. Don't eat for two, you'll regret it... (put that extra biscuit down). 4. Your boobs will never be the same again... nor will your stomach... or your dignity for that matter. 5. The birth will be awful, don't expect anything less…easily the most painful thing you’ll ever experience. 6. Postpartum sweating is a thing, night sweats like you’ve never experienced before, it’s grim! 7. Google is your answer to everything. 8. Google is also your worst enemy, don’t believe everything you read! 9. Scraping baby poo from underneath your finger nails will just become a normal part of your day. 10. You're not alone.. there will be plenty of mums feeling the way you feel. 11. Your mummy friends will be there, you'll end up telling them things you wouldn't even tell your husband. 12. Don't expect to bounce back into shape! Even breastfeeding won’t shift that extra stone. 13. Addiction to chocolate is a serious condition.. may also be to cake and coffee too. 14. Everyone will offer their advice, take it with a pinch of salt, go with your own instinct! 15. Don’t be scared to give your baby a dummy, he/she will not be 18 and still using a dummy! 16. You’re going to master the art of peeing in under 10 seconds. 17. Sophie the giraffe will be a saviour, teething is not fun and it lasts for a long long looonnnng time. 18. Every joint in your body will hurt when you try to get up, even 4 months after birth! 19. Don't be afraid to ask for help, everyone needs it! 20. Your husband will ask “what have you done today!?” Whilst looking at a messy house.. try not to kill him! 21. Your husband will also tell you how tired HE is.. (he’s joking right?!). 22. Washing your hair is a luxury... (what's a bath?!)... 23. A steriliser will become your new best friend, teething toys will be eaten by the steriliser so don’t be tempted to put them in there! 24. Say goodbye to your manicure, babies always know when you've applied a coat of varnish. 25. You'll reach a stage where you'll constantly feel like you have spiders crawling on you.. there isn’t… that's just your hair falling out!! 26. Your baby will NOT nap in his Moses basket, the car seat or pram will be their favourite choice. Don’t be tempted to move him/her from the car seat or pram into the moses basket, he/she will wake instantly! 27. You can't spoil your baby, letting them sleep on you is not a crime! Instead try to savour the moment. 28. Don’t feel guilty for not loving every day of motherhood, it’s a job you’ll love but no one loves their job every day. 29. Take photos every day! 30. Time flies, take in every moment, they grow sooooo quickly!

Ah but it’s all worth it right? Totally.


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