It's natural…..if it's natural, why is it so damn bloody hard!?
Everyone said to me when I was pregnant ''the first two weeks of breastfeeding are the hardest'' and ''most women give up during the first few weeks''. Well, for me this wasn't the case, I couldn't believe my luck. I found it surprisingly easy and found myself thinking what on earth was all the fuss about!? If you’re a mum that found the first two weeks really tough (and thinking I’m a lucky cow) then don't worry it didn't last long!
My little one had to spend some time in our local Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU), when I was able to take him out of the incubator he latched on straight away, I couldn't believe it! After everything he went through during labour and birth and he latched on first time! I think he thought ''mum deserves a break, I've put her through enough now, I’ll do this for her!’’. There was me thinking I'm so lucky to have this beautiful baby that’s breastfeeding so easily, has a feed every two hours, it was bliss! I had some nipple pain at the beginning but it wasn't as bad as what I thought it would be.
THEN...
Mastitis! Oh…My…God…. If you don’t know what this is then let me tell you, it’s something that you can get when you breastfeed when the ducts get blocked and the pain is horrendous. It feels like your breast has had 12 rounds with Mike Tyson and you’re feeding your baby broken glass! I remember one night sitting in bed feeling ever so sorry for myself, feeding my little one with tears rolling down my face… it wasn’t my best moment and I seriously thought to myself ‘’why am I bothering to breastfeed?! Maybe I should just give him a bottle''. Unfortunately you have to feed through Mastitis… BRILLIANT. After a course of antibiotics it did clear up and I was pain free again!
Acid Reflux! My little one has suffered with acid reflux since he was born. He has constantly thrown up, over himself, me, his cot, his car seat and anyone that comes into contact. I couldn't help but feel like he was throwing up rivers of gold.. gold that was now worthless! I remember once, he did a lovely burp after a feed, he was tired so I snuggled him into me to settle him, next thing I know there’s a warm something running down my neck into my bra.. Let's just say the something was sick that resembled cottage cheese on my neck, over my nightie and it had pooled nicely in my bra…Splendid! Countless weeks and muslins later we went to the doctors and got some Gaviscon! What a life saver! It took a good month to figure out how’s best to give it to him, I had to give it to him at the beginning of a feed 3 times a day mixed with my milk, it was a faff but the joy that I felt when I could feed him, burp him and put him in down in his cot without him throwing up all over himself and his cot was amazing!! He is still sick now and again but I’ve seen such an improvement.
Boob refusal! Feeding every 2 hours certainly takes its toll, especially when your little one is feeding constantly in the evening. After 8 weeks I decided to express a bottle for his 7pm feed so I knew he’d had enough milk and would go straight to sleep after. Well…. In theory this all sounds great BUT my little one decided ‘’oh I quite like the bottle it’s so much easier than feeding off mummy and the milks right there, what I’ll do is refuse mummy’s milk and hopefully she’ll give me a bottle every time’’. That’s it, just what I needed a baby that screams every time I put him near me to feed, trying to feed him became a nightmare, it made me stressed, he became stressed, I start sweating, he continued to get distressed and usually ended up with me crying….I felt so inadequate! I never had an issue with supply but that didn’t stop me worrying and I constantly did about him gaining weight, but he was, so that was reassuring. It took a while but we persevered and we finally got there in the end and he now accepts me a lot easier, he also gained some patience in the process!
Whack a boob out! To all the women that breastfeed in public, I salute you! For me, this was my biggest challenge, I don’t have the confidence to do it, I know it’s silly but it stresses me out and especially in light of all of the above, it just didn’t work for me. Don’t get me wrong, if my little one needed feeding, I would feed him, (majority of the time I would feed him just before I left to go out and aim to be back within two hours, he had routine of feeding roughly every 2 hours so this usually worked) if he did need feeding and we were out and I felt like I could feed him without any attention on me then I would do so but otherwise I would sneak off to the toilet or to my car to feed him. Even then, sometimes he would feed and then throw up all over me and him or the screaming routine would kick in and I would get extremely stressed and flustered!
At the moment (touch wood) he’s now feeding roughly every 3 hours and I express a bottle for his 7pm feed and I’ve just added in an expressed bottle for his lunchtime feed so I can actually go out and not have to worry about finding the nearest toilet to feed him. Now that he’s accepting both me and the bottle it’s the best thing I’ve done, I feel so much happier.
The best advice a friend gave to me is ‘’don’t give up when you’re tired’’ this was invaluable for me, there were so many times when I thought god I’d love to be able to say to my husband ‘’you do the next feed’’ but in hindsight I’m so glad I didn’t give up. Breastfeeding is hard, so much harder than I ever could imagine but when breastfeeding is going to plan it is the most rewarding feeling ever, to know that I’m making my little one strong and healthy makes it all worth it!
Next thing to combat… sleeping through the night… we definitely aren’t there yet!!!! Xxx